Tv Quotes

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative.

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

J.D: I hate that stereotype that black people all yell at movie screens, y'know? Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl! He behind the do'!" It's offensive.
Turk: You wish you were allowed to yell at the screen, don't you?
J.D: Why does she go in there?! I mean, he's behind the do'!

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

I want to go to there.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after 6, Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

If religious people could be reasoned with there would be no religious people.

You dont get to choose you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it. And the reason its so confusing is because it's love., but if love didn't have any challenges what would be the point?

College is breaking my spirit. Every single day, telling me things I don't know. It's making me feel stupid.

What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Cancel my subscription, I'm over your issues.

Note to self re: being the Fonz. Mark, you are not the Fonz.

Balloons explode, Jen. They explode suddenly, and unexpectedly. They are filled with the capacity to give me a little fright, and I find that unbearable.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

You look like Gandhi... no, wait, not Gandhi, the other one... Bono.